Sean Combs states in personal note to presiding officer before penalty phase he was 'fundamentally damaged'

Ahead of his court appearance, the entertainment mogul informed a judicial authority on the fourth day of the week that he is a transformed individual after understanding that he was "broken to my core" and wondering at times if he was better off dead.

The 55-year-old Combs, stated in a written communication to the judicial officer saying that with his mind clear of drugs and alcohol after a twelve months incarceration, he can see how rotten he had become before his autumn detention in a legal matter that led to his judicial determination on two sex trade charges. His sentencing hearing will commence on Friday morning.

"Throughout this annual period there have been so many times that I wanted to give up. There have been some days I thought I would be advantageous not living. The former identity died in jail and a transformed individual of me was regenerated. Detention will change you or destroy you – I opt for existence," he said.

A legal tribunal in the seventh month acquitted Combs on sex-trafficking and racketeering conspiracy charges, meaning he would avoid a lifetime imprisonment. The commercial sex charges each carry a severest sentence of a decade imprisonment.

Combs's lawyers say he should gain liberty this calendar period, arguing his annual imprisonment has been sufficient punishment, while prosecutors want at least eleven-year detention.

Combs expressed that the last two years had been the most difficult of his life, "taking full responsibility for my existing condition."

"Throughout my existence, I have made many errors, but I am no longer escaping them," he wrote. "I profoundly apologize for the suffering I created, but I understand that the mere words 'I'm sorry' will never be adequate as these words alone cannot eliminate the suffering from the past."

Combs apologized for hitting, foot assault and pulling his previous romantic interest Casandra "Cassie" Ventura at a Los Angeles hotel in 2016 – an attack captured on security-camera footage shown to trial participants repeatedly during his two-month trial.

"The scene and images of me harming Cassie play over and over in my head daily," Combs wrote. "I completely lost control. I was completely mistaken for physically touching the woman that I loved. I'm sorry for that and always will be."

Combs also apologized to a woman who testified under the alias Jane, saying that "post her evidentiary account, I realized that I caused her pain. For this I am sincerely remorseful."

Combs wrote that "the contrition, the sadness, the remorse, the letdown, the humiliation" from his behavior has made it "extremely difficult for self-forgiveness."

"It compares to a serious hurt that leaves an disfiguring reminder," he said. "I strayed from my path. I became迷失in my life path. Overwhelmed by narcotics and extravagance. My decline stemmed from personal greed."

In prison, Combs said, he has been perusing, authoring, working out and instructing a six-week course to other detainees, Free Game With Diddy, imparting his entrepreneurial insight, as well as acquired knowledge from his errors and setbacks.

He is also participating in counseling, he said, to deal with his past drug abuse and rage concerns. He is clean for the initial period in a quarter-century and is pledged to working "to ensure that I never make the same mistakes again," he wrote.

Combs told the judge that he was requesting leniency, not only for himself but for his seven children and his elderly parent, for whom he had been the primary caregiver. While incarcerated, he said, he failed to attend school celebrations and academic culminations and important phases of his two-year-old daughter's development.

"As I write you this letter, I am terrified. Anxious about further time apart from loved ones," Combs wrote. "Wealth and celebrity no longer matter. There is nothing more important to me than my family."

He said the conditions of his detention at a Brooklyn federal jail are "unacceptable," writing that he is locked in a room with two dozen fellow prisoners, with no windows, contaminated atmosphere, a defective cleaning appliance and H2O needing sterilization.

Combs vowed to never commit a crime again, telling the judge that since he has been in jail he has gone through a "personal transformation."

Rather than establish him as a cautionary tale with a prolonged incarceration, Combs implored Subramanian to "make me an example of what a person can do if afforded a second chance."

"Given authorization for family reunion, I vow I will not let you down and I will bring you satisfaction," he wrote.