This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.
As we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
